Christians are straight up FREAKS
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
