Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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