Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
