i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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