it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
