He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
