I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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