8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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