"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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