You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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