I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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