Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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