and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
