VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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