Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
