Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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