you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
