She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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