It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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