the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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