Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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