didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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