Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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