my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize