So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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