Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
