Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize