the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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