Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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