Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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