I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
