don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
