You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
wow bdsm is so cute
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