So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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