you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
