I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
