this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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