Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
