love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
