Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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