when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
