I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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