She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Please don't give away my fajitas
its liver damage thursday
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
