no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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