her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
