Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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