why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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