You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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