nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
