I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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