but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
