Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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