Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You may now shotgun with the bride
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
