It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
