She said her name was "party"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
