They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
