I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
