1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
420 ftw
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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