your parents love me but you hate me
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
