At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize