My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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