Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
