the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize