She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize