My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
