Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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