i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize