My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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