help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
